Dear family and friends-

See Update Below!

Dear Family and friends,

Our family has has been working with Deseret Media on a conference special that will be shown between the Sunday sessions of conference on October 2. It is on recovery from a pornography addiction. Ben was abused when he was eight. The shame he felt from that abuse led him into a pornography addiction that he has dealt with it his whole life.
I found out about his addiction a year after we were married. Consequently I was devastated and felt incredibly betrayed. Over the course of our marriage his addiction has cycled. The constant fear and turmoil was very devastating to me. After Gracie was born I hit a new low. Miraculously I found a therapist in town that specifies in pornography addiction recovery. This group of therapists are pioneering an effort to show the world the devastating effects this addiction has on woman. Ben and I have been in extensive therapy for over 2 years now and during that time Ben has been sober.

We were contacted by KSL to participate in this documentary to bring pornography addictions into the light. We feel very blessed to share our story in the hopes that it will help someone. We have shared our story many times to different groups and feel stronger after. We truly believe that this addiction is satans plan to destroy families. Not men or women, their families. I know and believe that our family is in recovery, but it will be something we will always work on and address. We are feeling so much better emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Thank you for your ongoing support of our family. We have been truly blessed, and feel your love. We hope you will watch and share this with your families and friends.

If you have any questions, please ask. We are more than willing to talk. We are amazed at how many people are dealing with this addiction. For years we thought we were the only one's dealing with pornography. That's why we want to talk about it, so women and men don't feel alone. The more we share the smaller it seems. Before, this addiction was a huge scary monster in a dark closet. Now we realize that it is not, and we have the power to destroy it.

Thank you for your love and support,

Ben and Andrea Brown

"Healing the Brokenhearted"

A documentary for partners betrayed by pornography and sexual addiction

Sunday, October 2, 2011 - 1:00-2:00pm

KSL (Channel 5)

KSL Channel 5 is broadcasting a one-hour documentary called "Healing the Brokenhearted", which features messages of hope and healing for women impacted by the betrayal of pornography and sexual addiction.

This documentary has an LDS emphasis and will air between Sunday sessions of the LDS Church General Conference.

The documentary features stories from women in their own healing process and offers encouragement, support, and direction for those affected.

Long time no post

A wise man once told me that he was sick of reading about our trip to Chuck-A-Rama. This one is for you Uncle Garth.

Here are some highlights and things to look forward to in the next little while.

We adopted a baby! I know. We were shocked, we never thought we would do something like this either. But it just felt like the right thing to do.

Her name is Charlotte. We call her Lottie and she fits in my purse. I give her swaddle baths and she is loved by all.

Stay tuned for the following events-
Potty training Gracie and Lottie. Lottie's training will involve teaching her to ring a little bell with her paw to go outside. Gracie's training may or may not include a bell.

Gracie climbing out of her crib.

Gracie getting a toddler bed.

Turning the large bedroom into a "girls dorm" with two sets of bunk beds.

Tyler sleeping in the toddler bed in his own room (for now. But he is tiny and he fits!) and the "ghosts".

Ta ta.

Chuck-A-Rama

It is funny how one person's greatest dream come true can be another person's greatest nightmare. Today is Lindsey and Emily's birthday. 10 and 8. I feel old. This year it is a family party, with Emily's baptism to come in the next few weeks. Since Grandpa and Grandma are in Costa Rica and they usually bring all the fun to the party, we had to come up with plan B.
Plan B includes Chuck-A-Rama. Their greatest dream. My greatest nightmare. Grandma took the girls there a few months ago and ever since they have been dying to go again. They could not believe that there was a place to make and eat as much ice cream as you wanted and when Emily discovered the endless supply of mashed potatos and gravy she was sold! When I suggested we come up with an activity to do together as a family they came up with Chuck-A-Rama. I couldn't see the activity in that, but they convinced me that walking around looking at and eating a lot of food constituted as an activity. Hmmm. Since I am a team player I said "why not" out loud, and in my mind said....."oh no, no, no, no, no!"
Birthday morning girls anticipating the all you can eat dinner at the end of the day. Seriously. Birthday presents followed by "when are we leaving for the activity". aka Chuck-A-Rama.

We finally made it and settled in. Emily chose the end so she could make frequent visits to the buffet.

Grace thought it was great. Emily kept her supply of finger foods going the whole night.

"pretty sure this is the best activity ever!"

We paid 5 dollars for Tyler to eat green jello and 4 dollars for Eliza to eat cucumbers and ranch dressing. Super!

Emily ate six plates of food plus dessert. She went to lay down on the bench and knocked her rootbeer float onto her head. She was not impressed.

Mom and dad laughed the whole time because:

1. Their joy- eating endless possiblities of food.

My nightmare- having so many choices not being able to eat anything (hence the green

jello fiasco)
2. Their joy-eating as much as they want and getting it themselves (Emily strategically placed

herself for optimum eating.)

My nightmare- children crawling all over the place carrying heavy plates of food, on their

own, by themselves, through a restaurant.

3. Their joy-Doing it all by themselves.

My joy- letting them do it (gulp.)

We had to give Emily a barf bag on the way home. Lindsey declared that she was SO embarrassed by how the little kids acted. Ben and I laughed because the whole night was so comical. We sure feel lucky to have these five little ones. Don't worry we gave the waitress a BIG tip to clean up after us!

These are the faces of two people who made it through an all you can eat buffet with five children with only two drink spills and one plate drop on the floor do we look crazy? Yup we are!

Happy Halloween from the brownie bytes!
And of course from the crayon teachers at Washington Elementary school. Let me know if you want my autograph I can scribble it in red for you!

Coming attractions:

Arches

Lindsey and Emily's birthday!

be SMART

Fall has arrived. My windows have been open for two days! Gracie can't get enough of the cooler weather and escapes every chance she gets!

We started the summer off with stitches. Why not Fall? Emily's little run in with the gate (the gate won). Different eye. Different direction. 5 stitches. Hooray!

Today I had a meeting with my Principal. We discussed what my SMART goals were going to be for the year.

Specific/strategic

Measurable

Attainable

Results-oriented

Timely

The goal I set in my mind was, "get the kids names in my class right. " I have two sets of cousins this year who look remarkably the same and two boys with almost the same name. In fact, I confused the boys names the first day of school the WHOLE day and neither of them said anything. They just looked at me like I was crazy! Of course I told my Principal a different goal because there is NO WAY I want him to think I don't know the kids in my class. In my defense...I do...They look A LOT alike.....and I am pretty sure my mental capabilities are shot because I have 5 kids...not that I am making excuses or anything...never. I am pretty sure that this answers the Specific part of my goal. I just hope that it is Attainable.

While I was folding laundry tonight (because that is what I do on Friday night, sooo glamorous) I thought about SMART goals I should set at home. This is what I came up with.

1. Remember my own kids names (you know what I mean, LindseyemilytylerelizagracieImeanben.)

2. Take care of my families laundry better. I come from a long line of women who get their whites really white. Every summer my mom would purchase homemade soap while we were in Canada and attack the soles of our socks. You never ever went outside with just socks on. That was like breaking the ultimate rule at our house. It's not so much a white thing as a take pride and take care of what I have thing. Clothes don't have to be so expendable. What I have taken from my moms white white socks rule is the lazy mans way out. Chuck them. Buy a new package when I have to go up north, then they are always white. Rinse and repeat. As we speak I have several white items soaking in buckets of BIZ on top of my washer. Go me! That was Attainable and Measureable.

3. Be more patient for the Timely things to happen. They will. I just have to be patient.

4. Finally, cancel dish network (really this time) Does anyone else out there think that the Disney Channel has turned into MTV for children? I will miss Phineas and Ferb. The rest can just GO AWAY. I am pretty sure that this is Specific and I will see immediate Results.

And this my friends makes me SMART!

Inspire me...what are your SMART goals? Give me ideas!

In case you were wondering

Back in school! Welcome to Mrs. Brown's University! 5 cases of Mono...yuck
4 missing pictures of kids on the first day...darn computer

streptococcus Tyler

Dear Bloggity Blog,

We have strep. A whole lot of strep going on at our house. First the mom, then the kids. Poor daddy has had to be Mr. Mom. I think he will be glad to go back to Mr. Dad. The crazy thing about this round of strep, Tyler once again didn't have any symptoms. The docotor said that sometimes in families one person will never have symptoms but will still have it. Thus never being treated and spreading the germs around again and again. WHAT! Who knew the reason we always had strep was because of tiny Tylers lovely kisses. If you have ever had the pleasure of experiencing one of his smooches you know what I am talking about! Can you say typhoid Mary?!

Break out the Avagard and clorox wipes

love,

the mommy